Everything is subjective!!!
Yep. It's true. I've been living a double life for my entire adult existence.
I'm coming out. Here and now. I am a rock and roll high school teacher. Among other things. Fortunately, I seem to be maturing gracefully in a world that I have loved and raged at with a passion and exuberance I can't imagine was ever paralleled anywhere else in all of creation. I suppose the youth of every generation feels this way upon burning away the fallacies of innocence that blanket their inexperienced worlds. (Innocence itself is not a fallacy - like the presence of Spirit, it is eternally present in luminescent benevolence within and without every human being at all times - like here, right now>>> Young adulthood is a rough time for some - one has to reconcile the world of expectations and youthful subjective perception with the realities of adult existence, with all it's inevitable complexities. A fog lifts, the world opens, and it's not always an easy road ahead. Having read 'American Indian Circular Philosophy' in the course package for Aboriginal Education at the University of Victoria this week, I was slightly amazed by the emotional response I felt to many of the ideas therein. In a recent ten year absence from my homeland, paying off debts and working (teaching) in a foreign Asian land, I had oceans of time among networks of infinity in which to contemplate and reflect on the meaning of the word "home" - subjectively and objectively. I feel at this point that my home is where my heart and soul are placed, along with my hat, at the end of each day. A single cosmic energy runs through all interconnected things in the universe, and I have no doubt that all is as it should be. A great cycle has been completed in my life - and now in this new/old setting there are some complicated questions regarding self-disclosure and identity that I must answer.
As a teacher in my particular elementary and high school niche on subtropical Jeju Island in South Korea, where I finally settled in after a few years in the big cities, it was beneficial in every imaginable way to be a singer and guitarist in a local band. Coming from the (excellent, discerning) underground music scene in Fernwood, Victoria as I was, I had no interest in playing in a mediochre 'cover band'. Incredibly, in that isolated location, I met some of the most talented musicians I could have imagined!! I wrote original songs, which we mixed with our favorites and played at the one local live venue at the time. It was a colossal celebration of life each time we played - after practicing together around 12 hours a week on average - smoking hot funk/punk/blues/rock music in those first few years. We were never paid, except in alcohol, and there were oceans of that too... Nothing exceeds like excess...Until you've had enough...
If you look behind the curtains of the great and secret show, there's really a lot going on. Over the years there were many manifestations and players who came and went, almost all Canadian, with a few Americans and even an Aussie or two- but it was always superfabulous grooving soul food music. Our audience of expat teachers, local Koreans, and various colorful characters (whom I have a myriad of stories about) was appreciative, and we generally had everyone dancing in those first years. We rocked hard until the police came, then respectfully capitulated (sometimes playing a last quick blasting encore after the authorities had left.) In recent years, we progressed into jazz/rock fusion upon finding some new players with exceptional musical ability. I sometimes wish the professors I studied the Beatles and Hendrix (popular music and society) with at UVIC in my undergrad days could have heard our rendition of 'Tomorrow Never Knows' with the 'uberhippy' genius Yogi Dave on didgeridoo. It was something else. Transcendental music. Set in a scene so radically chaotic that we could never for the life of us get a decent recording!! So far upon returning to Canada, I've played music live with several groups in Victoria in August+September, sitting in at shows, but professional development as a teacher+writer seems to be in the forefront of my mind and ambitions for personal development now. It's been a long time coming. I suppose my next post will contain some of the foibles and anecdotes pertaining to being a new teacher in a foreign context with a deep command of my subject (English literature, especially Shakespeare and the Romantics) and no experience or metacognitive understanding of the profession whatsoever. Teaching at a level of language light years beneath what you've studied isn't terribly satisfying, and it's easy to imagine why fresh 'newbies' on the expat scene are somewhat (playfully?) shunned by the old guard. Which I eventually became. The money is good and there's plenty of time for professional and personal development.
But ahhh, those newbies...
A 'savage' lot.
I've done a respectable job of picking up a few vital teaching strategies, skills, and tactics along the way. But those first few years... Well. Formally trained Western teachers would just shake their heads and laugh or cry (both?) in sympathy and horror. Good Times!! I suppose I'll have to figure out how to hyperlink some stories so I'm not writing BOOKS in my blog posts.
It's been a grand adventure thus far...
Let's continue on. My concerns for the future are only matched by optimistic insights in what I'm seeing in the world these days. What a world we live in.
An old friend whom I recently helped move up-island used to say 'NAMASTE' in greeting whenever we met and clasp her hands in prayer. I now have a few friends from Nepal whom I met overseas, and I wonder if they have the same meaning/understanding of the word that she had:
"There is a place within you where the whole universe resides, and when you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, there is only one of us".
I'm pretty sure I've seen them there. Maybe I've seen you?
Love it.
Rock on!!
